Today was awesome, in a completely failtastic way.

It started, as most days start, with waking up. Sunburnt and sore. Whoops.

I mosied downstairs, drank some tea, nattered to my sister, and, um. Discovered we’d locked ourselves out of the bathroom. And by ‘we’ I’m 80% sure I mean me. Neither of us are dressed yet, which means not only have we deprives ourselves of the loo, but also the shower, deodorent, toothbrushes and so on. We tried jimmying the lock with cardboard, but my sister’s bathroom door is badly hung. We tried begging a ladder off the neighbours, but none of them had one. So we gave up and went to Tesco’s, to use their loos and buy mouthwash and deodorant.

Once we’d attempted to make ourselves smell acceptable we went to Newquay, to the acquarium where my sister volunteers. It was cool – we saw them feed the turtle (it’s blind, so it’s one of the only permanently resident turtles in the UK), the octopus, the cuttlefish and the sharks. There were baby cuttlefishes, which are the most adorable things ever. I awwed at them a lot and took fuzzy photos on my phone. This was the non-fail part of the day, though the fact my phone won’t upload the photos to twitter is a little faily.

We tried to have lunch on the beach, but it rained, which not only made the sandwiches soggy and also put a dampener on our plans to go swimming. We went for a cream tea instead.

Anyway, we collected my sister’s frogs, which the acquarium had agreed to babysit, and some surplus guppies, and came home. Hence, if anyone follows my twitter, the ‘frog between my thighs’ tweets. 🙂

My sister’s boyfriend had kindly borrowed a ladder from his dad and broken into the bathroom while we were out, so it was showers all round when we got back. After which we went out for dinner. Well, we tried. I was promised a meadery, staffed with wenches, with meat you eat with your fingers.

I was not promised a meadery that only opens Thursday-Sunday.

You know, there’s fuck all places to eat in Redruth.

We had dinner at the cinema (of course!) and we’re now back at home, with wine, mead, port and chocolate brownie cake.

I know it sounds like I’m whining, but I actually quite enjoyed today. These things are much funnier when they happen to you. And, hey, I got to go behind the scenes at an acquarium. How awesome is that?

(also, yesterday, after I posted, I went swimming in the sea, and then got a ride on a Vespa! You have no idea how happy that made me)

There is a place reserved in the special hell for people who cut down trees and leave six inch stumps hidden in five foot bracken.

I’m on holiday at the moment. My sister moved to Cornwall earlier this year, and if there’s anywhere I associate with summer holidays it’s Cornwall. There’s a reason Tease is set there. Anyone following my twitter has been treated to a great deal of squee about the sea. If I’m ever not excited about seeing the sea, worry for me.

Anyway, my sister says come on down for your birthday. She says she volunteers at the local aquarium. She says would I like to come volunteering with her.

Guess where I spent the day?

Stomping bracken on the coast near St Ives.

Yeah, it wasn’t what I had in mind either. Okay, so she did give me some warning, but she hadn’t been before either.

There’s also a place in the special hell for people who give vague directions, which result in the five of us stomping bracken at a 50 degree angle on the side of a cliff all morning, and only finding the bracken we were meant to stomp after lunch. But fortunately, what with us being awesome, we did both the 50 degree slope and the relatively flat (but full of tree stumps) area.

Tomorrow we’re going to the aquarium. Apparently.