Firstly, if you haven’t already you really need to register as self-employed. I wasn’t, and I didn’t really want to be, but if I didn’t want America to take a third of my earnings I knew I better let Britain do it instead. Maybe it’ll reduce the chances of being overcharged by an average of a pound a day, as I was for the past two years. Unlikely, though.

You have to register as self-employed within three months of the end of your first month in business. The online registration is here, or you can call them on 0845 915 4515.

If possible, try and persuade your publisher to send you cheques in £, or pay via paypal. Some will, some won’t; it depends how their finance departments are set up.

If it’s got to be $ cheques (or checks!) request a lower limit on payment. The charges for converting small cheques don’t take into account cheques so small you owe them money.

Now, if you go into your local bank branch and ask about this, you’ll probably get the baffled looks I did. After much research, both online and in person, I managed to get a rough cross section of fees.

Co-Operative:

£4 for cheques worth less than £100
£8 for cheques worth more than £100, or 0.25%, whichever is higher

Natwest:

£5 for cheques worth less than £100 (and a 50p or more postal charge)
£10 for cheques worth more than £100 (and a 50p or more postal charge)

HSBC (I asked in person, but their website is incredibly cagey, so I don’t suppose these will be accurate for long)

£6 for cheques worth less than £100
£12 for cheques worth more than £100

Citibank

Has many US$ accounts with various benefits, which you can pay money into fee-free and transfer to a UK£ current account. However, many of the current accounts have a monthly fee or minimum deposit (Current Plus has a £10 a month fee, Current Access requires you pay in at least £1250 every month to get its benefits, and Citigold £5000 a month). If you earn a decent amount and month or you travel to the US regularly this might be the best option for you. I would recommend taking a close look at their terms and conditions, though, since they appear to have changed lately (there used to be a requirement your current account contain at least £2000 but I can no longer find that).

I gave up at this point. Most banks won’t tell you the charge because it seems to change pretty regularly (I think it’s based on what the US bank charges them) and varies depending on how much you’re paying in and what the exchange rate it when they finally get to the crunch. Cheques can take up to 6 weeks to clear. No fun if you need that money. Anyway, nothing worth changing bank accounts over for.

Every time I googled the issue, I kept finding mentions of auctionchex.com. It wasn’t until a friend recommended it to me in person (and I had a cheque too small to deposit any other way) that I decided to check it out.

Auctionchex is part of auctionpix, which is a site designed to host pictures for sales on ebay and so on. It makes some sense, but it’s still a slightly unlikely offshoot. They’re registered with the Financial Services Authority as a small payment institution. As you can see, no disciplinary action has been taken against them. That’s not to say they’re squeaky clean, but it’s better than a kick in the face. They give you an option to have your money returned by cheque, rather than put straight into your bank acount, for cautious claires like me who don’t want to give that information away online. There’s a flat fee of £1.20 (regardless of how many cheques you send).

So, I registered, entered the details of my cheque, signed it and sent it off. And about a week later, I got a cheque in sterling sent back to me, for the amount agreed. I paid it into my bank and it cleared (a cheque that size ought to!) and everything was hunky-dory.

So, my recommendations are: Citibank if you can afford it, or you make regular trips to the US. Auctionchex otherwise. only go  through a UK bank if you haven’t any other choice – they’re slow and expensive!